Bengals Jersey Rated Most Awful for Casual Wear

Courtesy of the DeadSpin

Least Awful Jerseys For Casual Wear*:
1. Raiders
2. Giants
3. Bears
4. Steelers
5. Cowboys (NOTE: Does not take into account the fact that wearing a Cowboys jersey declares you a tarded Cowboys fan)

All of these jerseys are, fashion-wise, minimalist. Traditional. They feature one prominent, not-too-garish color. And they don’t have a load of flourishes. Like a Broncos jersey. You really want to wear something that has orange accents? Heck no, you don’t. Here are eight jerseys even Lucy Pinder would look stupid wearing:

Most Awful Jerseys For Casual Wear*:

1. Bengals
2. Panthers
3. Jaguars
4. Ravens
5. Vikings (couldn’t put them higher because I’m totally biased. Hey Ravens fans, you look EXTRA girly!)
6. Titans
7. Chiefs
8. Broncos

(*Rankings subject to change if you're one of those black dudes who can pull off any jersey)

At least the Broncos jersey is dark blue. Purples, oranges, teals, fire engine reds… Nothing enhances goofiness on a man quite like those colors. They’re the cherry on the retard sundae.

So why do grown men wear jerseys at all? Well, if you’re anything like me, you’ve noticed in your life that there is a huge discrepancy between how you see yourself in a mirror and how you see yourself once a picture is taken of you. I had a Vikings Apex One jacket I wore all through high school. I thought it looked awesome. Then someone handed me a photo of me in it, and suddenly the reason no girl ever came within 50 feet of me in high school became glaringly apparent (many other factors also contributed).

Awesome! Glad to hear I am being mocked silently by everyone for wearing my orange and black #85 jersey.

That's me on the right with my Carson Palmer jersey on, and yes that is the front row of the Dog Pound in Cleveland, and yes, Browns fans were as irrational as you thought they were.